Gloria: What else do I say wrong?
Jay: Well, it's not "blessings in the skies." It's "blessings in disguise."
Gloria: What else?
Jay: "Carpal tunnel syndrome" is not "carpool tunnel syndrome."
Gloria: And what else?
Jay: It's not "vo-lump-tuous."
Gloria: Okay, enough. I know that I have an accent, but people understand me just fine.
Jay: What the hell is this?
Gloria: I told you, Jay. I called your secretary and told her to order you a box of baby cheeses. [Jay holds up a figure of the baby Jesus] Oh, so now that is my fault too.

Jay: Honey, look. English is your second language. You're doin' great.
Gloria: Yeah, you're not helping by protecting my feelings. I want you to be honest with me.
Jay: Okay, well, I may have noticed some tiny little mistakes you might want to take a look at.
Gloria: Like what?
Jay: Just little mispronunciations. Like, for example, last night you said we live in a "doggy-dog" world.
Gloria: So?
Jay: It's "dog-eat-dog" world.
Gloria: Yeah, but that doesn't make any sense. Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggy-dog world is a beautiful world full of little puppies.

Claire: How about you, Alex?
Alex: I haven't really thought about it. I've got, like, three huge exams tomorrow.
Claire: Honey, you can't just slap something together at the last minute. If you gave this costume half as much time and attention as you give your homework, you wouldn't be in this situation.
Alex: Can I remind you you have one child who's not mediocre?