Gloria: What else do I say wrong?
Jay: Well, it's not "blessings in the skies." It's "blessings in disguise."
Gloria: What else?
Jay: "Carpal tunnel syndrome" is not "carpool tunnel syndrome."
Gloria: And what else?
Jay: It's not "vo-lump-tuous."
Gloria: Okay, enough. I know that I have an accent, but people understand me just fine.
Jay: What the hell is this?
Gloria: I told you, Jay. I called your secretary and told her to order you a box of baby cheeses. [Jay holds up a figure of the baby Jesus] Oh, so now that is my fault too.

Jay: Honey, look. English is your second language. You're doin' great.
Gloria: Yeah, you're not helping by protecting my feelings. I want you to be honest with me.
Jay: Okay, well, I may have noticed some tiny little mistakes you might want to take a look at.
Gloria: Like what?
Jay: Just little mispronunciations. Like, for example, last night you said we live in a "doggy-dog" world.
Gloria: So?
Jay: It's "dog-eat-dog" world.
Gloria: Yeah, but that doesn't make any sense. Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggy-dog world is a beautiful world full of little puppies.

Manny: Oh, and one time she says, "Don't choke or I'll have to give you the Hindenburg maneuver."
Cameron: Oh, one time she caught me staring off and she goes "Cam, what's wrong? You look like a deer in head lice."
[aside to camera:]
Jay: In the service, I had a job briefly handling explosives which sounds dangerous, but it's not. You store them at the right temperature you have no problems.
[back:]
Phil: If you tell her she doesn't have a choice she'll say, "Don't you give me an old tomato."
Mitchell: Or when she's-
Gloria: Okay, enough! You try speaking in another language! Everybody out of my house!
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Until you do.