Luke Quote #29
Luke: Why did he paint The Starry Night? Maybe because the sky is beautiful, and everybody likes looking at it, and it reminds us that something's up there watching over all of us- Aliens, who could be here in a second to liquefy us and use us as fuel. So wake up, people. We're next.
Alex: Mom! You better get down here!
Quote from Luke
Luke: [wearing noise-cancelling headphones] Wah! Wah! No one can hear me now. Whoo! Everybody is stupid except me. Ha, ha, ha. I am funny.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Claire, I know you've got your methods, but so do I. And I'm sorry, but I'm not a micromanager. Trust me, I can provide Luke with the tools and guidance he needs without, uh, smothering him.
Claire: You think I smother our child?
Phil: It's not your fault, honey. "Mother" is part of the word. You never hear of anyone being "sfathered" to death.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Make sure your seat is exactly the way you want it, and feel free to play with any of these controls up here. I have no idea what they do. But I want mi car to be su car.
Gloria: Cameron, are you okay? You seem nervous.
Cameron: Uh, nervous? No. I'm not nervous. [tapping steering wheel]
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: I was nervous. I mean, when Mitchell made plans with his father, I figured, why not spend the evening with Gloria? I've always wanted to be good friends with her. On paper, we should be good friends. Look at us. One spicy, curvy diva-
Mitchell: And Gloria.
Quote from Up All Night
[asides to camera:]
Alex: What's the most irritating thing my parents say to me?
Manny: "That's too much cologne."
Haley: "That's how girls end up dead."
Luke: "Don't talk black to me."
Manny: "It's inappropriate because she's your teacher."
Luke: "How do you even talk black? End words with 'izzle'"?
Alex: [o.s.] It's "talk back," you idiot.
Quote from Slow Down Your Neighbors
Luke: What are you gonna do when he drives by?
Claire: I'm gonna tell him to slow down.
Luke: I think you should drag him out of his car and we all get turns punching him in the stomach until he barfs.
Claire: Honey, I think I'm just gonna turn over his license plate to the police.
Luke: Please. Order a pizza and call the cops. We'll see who gets here first.