Modern Family - Cameron Quote #85
Jay: Is that the best you can do? 'Cause it's gonna take a little more than some lame trash talk to get me out of my- Gaah! What the hell was that?
Cameron: Our butts pressed against each other.
Jay: They didn't press. It was glancing. Stop talking about it!
Cameron: Oh, come on, all the time you've spent in a locker room, this can't be your first moon landing.
Jay: You got a name for it?
Cameron: It's very common. You got off easy. At least it didn't happen after a shower.
Cameron: We call that a splashdown.
Jay: That's it. I'm changing in the stall. Excuse me!
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: [aside to camera] Gloria got into a little car accident, so my dad asked me to help her out. And, uh, this is the first time that my dad's asked me for legal advice, and it's- it's nice. It's nice to know that he respects me in that way.
Cameron: Well, Mitchell is an amazing lawyer.
Cameron: My dream for him is that one day he'll be on the Supreme Court.
Mitchell: Why, Cam?
Cameron: So at parties I can tell everyone my partner is one of the Supremes.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] Do people want their real estate advice from someone who leads or from someone who follows? I'm betting these babies are coming back in a big way. Buy low, sell high. People are gonna see this and say, "That guy's high."
Quote from Luke
Phil: What are you doing with those?
Alex: Luke and I are doing a recycling drive. If we collect enough bottles, they build a school in Africa.
Luke: Wouldn't that be so cool to go to a school made out of bottles?
Alex: That would certainly be a special school. Did you hear what I said, parents? "Special school"?
Quote from Send Out the Clowns
Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.
Quote from Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Alone Time
Gloria: It's a bad time, Cam. Turns out, it wasn't the allergies. I feel terrible. You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No danger of that. I have the immune system of a horse. When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion, and there was a mix-up with the vials. I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly, but they don't seem interested.