Phil Quote #122

Quote from Phil in Fifteen Percent

Phil: Seriously, Claire, you owe me an apology for breaking that.
Claire: Okay. Phil, I apologize for breaking the world's worst remote that you bought stupidly.
Phil: Excuse me, but the experts at CNET.com rated it the best remote. They gave it three and a half mice.
Claire: Wow. I have an idea. Let's invite the gang from CNET over and your old buddies from cheerleading, and we can have a nerd party.
Phil: Ling is not a nerd. He built his own helicopter. And if he was alive today-
Claire: Sweet pea, let's not talk about Ling. It upsets you too much.

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 ‘Fifteen Percent’ Quotes

Quote from Jay

Jay: Just stop it, please. Don't you see how hard this is for me? See, I used to be just like one of those guys. Now look at me. I got a house looks like Little Colombia. I got a gay son and a Chinese granddaughter.
Mitchell: Vietnamese.
Jay: Only you would know the difference.
Mitchell: Don't worry, Dad. Not growing too much.

Quote from Gloria

Whitney: I'll just be alone for the rest of my life. And that's okay.
Gloria: No, don't say that. In my country, there's a saying that means "Love is just around the corner."
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes.

 Phil Dunphy Quotes

Quote from Hit and Run

Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.

Quote from En Garde

Phil: [aside to camera] What does it take to make a great salesman? It's no big secret. You just follow the ABC's of salesmanship: Always Be Closing. Don't Ever Forget Great Home Ideas Just Keep Lurking Mostly Nearby.
Often, People Question Realtors' Sincerity. Take Umbrage. Violators Will- Oh, shoot