Gloria Quote #815
Quote from Gloria in Commencement
Manny: Well, maybe if you believed in your sons instead of giving everyone Colombian handshakes.
Gloria: What?! I've never sanded down a man's fingers in front of his family! Oh, you mean the bribes?
Manny: You can't deny it anymore. Look at this photo on my dean's Instagram. He's wearing the same watch you gave Sensei Ron.
Cameron: The superintendent was wearing that same watch. I-I noticed it when he shook my hand at the end of the ceremony and said I was a "horrifying disgrace."
Jay: You bribed him?! Is that how I got my speech?
Gloria: Okay, enough! I'm sure you would have gotten all these things on your own, but the world sometimes is very unfair! And the watches are like an insurance.
Manny: Why do you even have so many?
Gloria: Sometimes I do a little bit of Ambien shopping and I buy too much of one thing. Didn't you all wonder when you got the same fun socks for Christmas?
Modern Family Quotes
‘Commencement’ Quotes
Quote from Jay
Manny: And sorry if I'm distracted. It's cut day at CalArts. Half of the class isn't being asked back.
Gloria: Manny, my mother's intuition tells me that you have nothing to worry about.
Manny: It's just so cruel. I'm halfway to a playwriting degree and a minor in mask-making and they're just gonna throw me out on the street with no way to support myself?
Jay: As a wise man will say in about two hours, "Be grateful for the rocks life rolls in your path, for one day, you'll see them as stepping stones." I had that in my "maybe" pile. Trust yourself, Jay.
Quote from Alex
Alex: [aside to camera] So we were done with classes, done with finals, and, like college seniors since the beginning of time, we decided to get a little nuts.
[flashback:]
All: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
[v.o.:]
Alex: Our classmate Ashish Chug hacked his key card to get us access to the restricted section of the library. We decided to read Alister's Last Theorem. Gottlob Alister wrote a proof showing that zero equals one. This rendered mathematics meaningless and drove him insane. According to legend, the same fate befalls anyone who reads and understands the proof.
Quote from Jay
Jay: Hey, hey, hey, I was humiliated much worse than you. It was so unfair. A lifetime of service out the window. You think I don't see the faces of owls every night I close my eyes?
Joe: At least you've accomplished something they can tear down. I'm a fraud!
Gloria: You see what you did to your brother? Look at those sad, hurt eyes.
Jay: Like a sad little owl.