Dylan: Thanks. And thanks for inviting me today.
Alex: Of course. You're the baby's father.
Dylan: Yeah, but it's a family thing, and I don't always feel like I belong. Sometimes they look at me like the proverbial bird in the punch bowl.
Alex: Almost.

Jay: ♪ Oh, Super Bowl ♪ ♪ The plays, the plays, they're calling ♪ ♪ From end to end ♪ ♪ And... ♪ [opens fridge] Oh!
Gloria: What happened? Do I call the nine and the one and the other one?
Jay: Why is my fridge filled with non-football-related foods on Super Bowl Sunday? There's no room for my Jerry Rice pudding.

Jay: Cam, have a bowl of my famous chili.
Cameron: I didn't know you made chili.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: I know all about Jay's damn chili. We talked about it last year on this very day. Promises were made.
[flashback:]
Jay: Next year, I'm getting you your own football chair and you're gonna help me make my famous chili.
5:00 a.m. Be there or be square.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: You know, I never entirely felt Jay's approval, so this was a big step for us. I counted the days. Then Super Bowl Eve, I went and I bought the finest chili thickeners: corn flour and potato flour. And I showed up an hour before dawn. I called Jay's cell as to not startle Gloria.
[flashback:]
Jay: Hey, what's up?
[voice over:]
Cameron: He had no idea why I was calling. Clearly promises made didn't mean as much to him. But I couldn't let him know that.
[flashback:]
Cameron: Oh, uh, Jay, is th... is that you? I-I must... I must've butt-dialed you. Why else would I be calling you so early... on a regular Sunday morning? Sorry.
[v.o.]
Cameron: I felt like a jilted lover standing on his porch, holding those beautiful flours.