Jay Quote #1305

Quote from Jay in The Escape

Jay: [aside to camera] It's no secret my sister Becky and I have our differences.
Gloria: They haven't talked in nine years.
Jay: She's kind of a monster.
Gloria: I've only met her once, at our wedding. Imagine if you took all of Jay's worst qualities and wrapped them in a pantsuit.
Jay: But as soon as I heard she had a stroke, I knew I had to rush to her side.
Gloria: It happened three weeks ago.
Jay: Right in the middle of hockey playoffs! Typical Becky!

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 ‘The Escape’ Quotes

Quote from Haley

Haley: Oh, gosh, I guess your name must still be in my phone as my emergency contact. I use boyfriends to avoid lectures from my parents. I don't want to wake up in a Tijuana prison and them be all like, "You're grounded."

Quote from Gloria

Fred: The stroke may have scrambled some of Becky's memories.
Mitchell: So she doesn't remember me coming out?
Fred: Correct. And now presumes you're straight. That part I can't explain.
Phil: [quietly] Have you tried popping her on the noggin?
Jay: She's not a jukebox, Fonzie.
Gloria: And besides, it doesn't work. It only made my uncle worse. He never woke up.

Quote from Andy

Haley: Andy, um, I have to tell you something. And I'm really, really sorry, but I'm seeing someone.
Andy: Really?
Haley: Yeah.
Andy: Yes! Whoo-hoo! Oh, thank goodness. Me, too. I just didn't know how to tell you, especially if you were dying. She's a Laker girl.
Haley: Oh, wow. A cheerleader. Nice.
Andy: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Josephine scrapes barnacles off boats in the Great Salt Lake. We call them Laker girls. But they are kind of sex symbols in Utah.