Jay Quote #1290
Quote from Jay in Daddy Issues
Jay: Manny you're gonna learn something today.
Manny: I try to learn something every day. It keeps me young, or nuori, as they say in Finnish.
Jay: Assuming you stop saying stuff like that, one day you will be married, and eventually the ex will show up sniffing around, puffing out his pretty-boy chest, which is your cue to go alpha.
Manny: Don't you think Mom will get annoyed when she sees you being rude to an old friend?
Jay: Not at all. Deep down, she wants to see me vanquish all who came before. It's basic animal stuff.
Manny: Oh, I get it. My girlfriend Karen was pretty frisky the other night after her ex showed up, and I bested him in a chocolate-soufflé bake-off. I don't need to tell you my soufflé wasn't the only sweet brown dish she devoured that night.
Jay: Because?
Manny: I also made molasses cookies.
Jay: I've learned to ask the second question.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Daddy Issues’ Quotes
Quote from Phil
Phil: Box of chocolates. Count Chocula. Chaka Khan, conman, Isle of Man. "I Love Lucy," Lucy Liu. Lululemon, lemon peel. "Key & Peele," key chain! Novelty key chain?! No! No!
Quote from Phil
Phil: Mm. I mean, finding a gift that has all three is challenging, but here's the thing. Bad ideas aren't your enemy. In fact, sometimes if you free-associate from the bad ideas, you discover great ones. Let's try it.
Sales Associate: Sir, would you like a bonsai tree?
Phil: Novelty key chain. First thing that popped into the noodle. It's terrible. Let's see what that key unlocks. Novelty key chain. Novelty lock. Loch Ness Monster. Monster bike. Bike lock. Padlock. Mouse pad. Novelty mouse pad! Novelty key chain! What just happened?
Quote from Phil
Phil: If I don't care that it mops, dusts, squeegees, and lights up, would I care that Stacey Keach says it's the last cleaning tool you'll ever need?