Mitchell Quote #840

Quote from Mitchell in Royal Visit

Mitchell: [aside to camera] I tried to relax in there, I really did. But it was difficult. I-I guess because I felt like I was, um... Oh, what's the word? Dying. But I got past that, only to start reliving every mistake I have ever made, like when I went to an Oscar party and I said "Bett" Davis in front of a room full of vicious gays. Honestly, the only thing that kept me in there was the knowledge that Cam was right next door.

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 ‘Royal Visit’ Quotes

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Haley's dating this genius astrophysics professor who's somehow making her smarter because, last week, I called Pluto a planet and Haley laughed at me. In pity. Haley.
Claire: Haley.
Phil: Haley.

Quote from Phil

Claire: Do we think that Haley is suited to a professor, because I more saw her with a Gilligan type?
Phil: Come on, now. Lots of happy couples aren't the exact same level of smart.
Claire: That's true. We work.
Phil: Yeah. Wait. When you say, "We work," do you think you're smarter than me or I'm smarter than you?
Claire: I think I'm smart enough not to have this conversation.
Phil: Oh, my God! You do! You think you're smarter than me! Okay, hotshot. How many patents do you have? Headscratcher TM, Aspirin Gun, Polite Car Horn that'll put an end to road rage. [high-pitched] Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: Wow. Henry's dad did such a great job with the birthday party for the kids, huh? "Henry's dad".
Jay: "Henry's dad". I took Joe to see "African Queen" in CinemaScope.