Jay Quote #1268
Quote from Jay in Spanks for the Memories
Jay: Uh, it's a difficult subject. Gloria and I are having an issue in the bedroom.
Claire: Okay.
Jay: There's been a drop-off of pace and intensity. I get the impression she's looking for, maybe, a little more variety.
Claire: Mm.
Jay: But you can't blame her. I've been using the same moves since the '70s. I may as well be doing "The Hustle" in there.
Claire: I'm just gonna wet my whistle.
Jay: I heard her tell her friend last night about wanting to be spanked. And later, the opportunity presented itself, and-
Claire: No, you didn't. You didn't.
Jay: Three times.
Claire: Oh, God. Why three times, Dad?
Jay: I don't know. Maybe all those years of ping-pong in the warehouse. I've got very agile wrists.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Spanks for the Memories’ Quotes
Quote from Phil
Phil: Hey, you. What's going on? You, uh- You texting a boy?
Alex: Just figuring out my summer plans.
Phil: I remember the summer of my junior year. I followed N.W.A. on tour. Nebraskans With Accordions. This was before Polka Pete was brutally murdered, of course.
Quote from Claire
Sam: Okay, well I must say, you do look beautiful. You remind me of my first beard.
Claire: Thank you. I'm a lady in the streets and a freak in the spreadsheets. It's not a bad caption if you're still interested in using me in your magazine.
Quote from Joe
Joe: Daddy.
Jay: What are you doing up?
Joe: I can't sleep. Wait. You eat while I'm in bed? Is there a meal I don't know about?
Jay: A couple.
Jay: But you need to hit the hay, buddy. I need you sawin' logs until 0700.
Joe: I don't know what any of that means.