Jay: It's cute, that grown-up routine Manny's putting on to impress his girlfriend.
Gloria: She's not his girlfriend. She's his teacher.
Jay: Gloria, he brought her home when he thought no one would be around.
Gloria: Manny has been bringing his teachers home since he was a little kid. His 9th birthday party turned into a PTA meeting.

Jay: You're gonna love it, Joe. My dad took me to an air show like this for my 12th birthday. We saw Blue Angels, fighter jets, a B-52 bomber.
Joe: Something got bombed?
Jay: Well, my dad. He got in a drinking contest with some fly boys. But that just made it extra fun, 'cause I got to drive us home.

Gloria: Joe, why is the fort still in the middle of the living room?
Joe: I need it.
Gloria: For what? Apaches? Are you being attacked?
Joe: Feels like it.