Joe Quote #35
Quote from Joe in Winner Winner Turkey Dinner
Joe: There was once a land of godless natives. They did not know any better until, one day, the white man arrived.
Gloria: What is this?
Joe: The white man took pity on these primitives by teaching them to cultivate the land. But their kindness was mistaken for aggression, and a war began. [makes throat slitting jesture]
Claire: What kind of school is this?
Cameron: This is what I was taught.
Claire: What?
Joe: Eventually, peace was restored, and we bestowed them with our nation's highest honor naming football teams for them.
Gloria: Joe, what play is this?
Joe: I wasn't in a play! I don't go to school anymore!
Modern Family Quotes
‘Winner Winner Turkey Dinner’ Quotes
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [aside to camera] There- There is a backstory. In the summer of 1984, inspired by "The Karate Kid," I went through a martial arts phase. When Cam brought those nunchucks home, it was just too much to resist. 30 years later, once again, it was time to sweep the leg.
Quote from Jay
Principal: You said some pretty harsh things to Mrs. Barrish.
Jay: In my defense, um, this banquet she's planning is not historically accurate. For example, I don't remember a tandoori chicken option at the first Thanksgiving.
Principal: We have children here from many ethnicities, and we try to make them all feel included.
Jay: Be that as it may, history does not record Pocahontas asking John Smith to pass the sashimi roll while Myles Standish helps himself to gluten-free huevos rancheros!
[aside to camera:]
Jay: After that, it got heated, and we got expelled.
Joe: "We"?
Jay: But they'll call. They need my check.
Quote from Phil
Phil: If I can't do this trick, my magic shop is gonna be the laughingstock of the mini-mall. And there's still a Blockbuster there.