Phil Quote #1520

Quote from Phil in Winner Winner Turkey Dinner

Haley: And action.
Phil: Hello, and congratulations on your purchase of the Normandy Phone Booth. The following will demonstrate just how much fun you've dialed up. [breathes deeply] Here we are on D-Day. Where's the damned air support? Oh, good. A p- phone booth. I hear the Nazis have booby-trapped these, but I will I definitely will take the risk of calling Allied Command. Hello, General. Yes, the enemy is all around us. Blast! [breathing rapidaly] This is [gasping]] one of the phone booths that's booby-trapped.
Haley: Oh, no!
Phil: [whimpers] Yes, General, the enemy is closing in! There's no esca- Haley! Get me out of here!
Haley: Who's Haley? I'm Nurse Rutherford.
Phil: [screams]

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 ‘Winner Winner Turkey Dinner’ Quotes

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] There- There is a backstory. In the summer of 1984, inspired by "The Karate Kid," I went through a martial arts phase. When Cam brought those nunchucks home, it was just too much to resist. 30 years later, once again, it was time to sweep the leg.

Quote from Jay

Principal: You said some pretty harsh things to Mrs. Barrish.
Jay: In my defense, um, this banquet she's planning is not historically accurate. For example, I don't remember a tandoori chicken option at the first Thanksgiving.
Principal: We have children here from many ethnicities, and we try to make them all feel included.
Jay: Be that as it may, history does not record Pocahontas asking John Smith to pass the sashimi roll while Myles Standish helps himself to gluten-free huevos rancheros!
[aside to camera:]
Jay: After that, it got heated, and we got expelled.
Joe: "We"?
Jay: But they'll call. They need my check.

Quote from Phil

Phil: If I can't do this trick, my magic shop is gonna be the laughingstock of the mini-mall. And there's still a Blockbuster there.