Jay Quote #1175
Quote from Jay in The Graduates
Manny: I'm such a screw-up. Huh. "Integrity." It should say "Perverted Schnapps Maniac." [sniffs] Oh, God. It smells like Miss Dictorian's perfume. I can't wear this. I'm a fraud. No absents? Oh, I've got one big absent, my soul.
Jay: Manny, you've spent your whole life trying to be perfect, and this is throwing you for a loop, I get it. But if you just look around this room, you'll realize people make mistakes. You could do way worse than you did last night, and it ain't gonna change a thing. So my advice, try to be a little easier on yourself.
Modern Family Quotes
‘The Graduates’ Quotes
Quote from Jay
Manny: Mom, you're already cooking for tomorrow? Don't make a big deal.
Gloria: My baby's graduating. He won the award for Integrity and Character. "No absence, no tardies, respectful to students and teachers alike."
Jay: My school had an award like that, but instead of a sash, that kid got a punch in the mouth. Proud of you, though.
Manny: Why do all your stories involve a punch in the face, a shifty European, or a broad who's been around the block?
Jay: That reminds me of when I had to rough up this Italian kid because he didn't want me dating his sister. She was no nun!
Quote from Javier
Javier: How could I miss it? Manny, the first member of my family to ever graduate from high school.
Jay: Wait a minute. Don't you have a brother in Colombia who's a doctor?
Javier: Yes.
Gloria: He just does orthopedic surgery, not brain or heart.
Quote from Phil
Claire: [singsong] There he is, the graduate.
Phil: I have one word for you, Luke... plastics.
Claire: [normal voice] I don't think he knows that movie, honey.
Phil: Mrs. Dunphy, you're trying to seduce me.