Manny: Oh, what a B-U-tiful morning. I joke because I've been accepted to B.U.
Gloria: Oh, Manny, I'm so proud of you!
Manny: I'm six for six. So many suitors, not sure which to choose from. I feel like Lady Mary in the last season of "Downton Abbey."
Jay: I'd avoid the big football schools.

Gloria: This is so slow!
Jay: If you're on the Pritchett's Closets website, we're aware of the slowdown. It's either a hack by the Chinese or that Chinese hack I hired to fix the website.

Jay: [aside to camera] I miss the days when people stood in actual lines. If you weren't willing to stand in the rain, you didn't get to see Gary Puckett & the Union Gap.