Jay: [aside to camera] I don't like to talk about it a lot, but I have a certain expertise in timber. Even blindfolded, I can tell a Galapagos teak from a Maltese cherry. Came in handy for a cop friend of mine. Helped him round up the Cedar Boys.

Cameron: You know, I'm glad we're doing this again.
Alex: Yeah, I think we just put too much pressure on it the first time.
Cameron: You know, humans aren't the only ones who respond badly to pressure. Did I ever tell you about the day without eggs? It was at the start of the Omelet Days Festival. Up with the sun, I grab my basket, into the hen-house I go. Thirty-four hens, nary an egg. I know, I know. My grandpa said it was the worst case of avian anxiety he'd seen since Pearl Harbor. That's when they had to take the radio out of the coop.

Joe: I spilled juice on the rug. Please don't tell Mama.
Jay: Don't tell Mama?
[aside to camera:]
Jay: What about, "Don't tell Papa?" A boy is supposed to fear his father. I shook in my boots around my old man, just like he did around his. To this day, I hear the crack of a Schlitz or smell some Singleton's Beard Tonic, and I'm sweating like a mob rat in Little Italy.