Jay Quote #1107
Quote from Jay in Ringmaster Keifth
Mitchell: Well, that was a scare.
Jay: Nothing happened. I know where you're going with this.
Mitchell: This is why I've been hounding you about your estate planning.
Gloria: No, Mitch. Don't put that horrible thing out in the universe! [spits, exhales forcefully]
Claire: Dad, you still haven't done that?
Mitchell: They haven't updated their paperwork since Joe was born. Uh, God forbid something bad should happen to them we don't even know who'd they want to raise Joe.
Gloria: Shh! [spits]
Jay: Will you stop scaring her? I spend more money on eyelashes than most of you do on health care. Fine, we'll do it today. What better way to start the new year than by preparing for the worst?
Modern Family Quotes
‘Ringmaster Keifth’ Quotes
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: What is this? We don't need to put aside money for Manny's college. I already took care of it. When Manny was born, I didn't want to rely on anyone, so I started saving money from my paycheck. Eventually, I made enough money for Manny's college, so if anything happens, he'll be okay.
Jay: That's amazing. How did I not see this in the bank statements?
Gloria: Why would I put money that I might need to run away with in the middle of night in the bank? I put it in my disappear bag.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: The money has to be here somewhere. This is all the stuff from when we first moved in together.
Jay: Why do we have a box of doll heads?
Gloria: Oh, I guess you think it's a coincidence that we have never had evil spirits in this house.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Okay, get ready to pig out!
Mitchell: In six to eight hours.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: I did Thanksgiving dinner last year, and it didn't go well.
Mitchell: Cam blew up the turkey and made the goat kill itself.
Cameron: Anyhoo, today is my comeback meal, and I decided to keep it simple and roast a pig. So, you just dig a hole, you put down a bed of coals, then a layer of banana leaves, lower the pig, cover it with burlap and tin foil, and bam! Six hours later, you dig it all up, put it on a platter, and bam! Dinner is served.