Phil Quote #1401
Quote from Phil in The Alliance
Alex: No offense, Dad, but I'm not sure these magazines are the treasure trove of information you thought they were.
Phil: What are you talking about?
Alex: "Glaciers: Now and Forever". "Canada: Our mysterious Neighbor to the North".
Luke: Don't hate these photos of the lost tribes.
Alex: That's a human head hanging off her skirt.
Phil: Kids, these magazines harken back to a time when man had to forage and fight for his foods. You guys have it too easy nowadays. You can lay around eating snacks saying, "Okay, Google, dim the kitchen lights."
Woman: Sure thing.
Alex: Go ahead, Dad.
Phil: Okay, Google, show me a video of a kangaroo playing badminton with a pirate.
Woman: Sure, playing on YouTube.
Phil: What?! [laughs]
Modern Family Quotes
‘The Alliance’ Quotes
Quote from Phil
Luke: Whoa. Watch the new kicks.
Claire: What? You have another pair of new sneakers? What is that job at the club paying you?
Luke: It's the tips, Mom. There's this one lady, hold the door for her 10 bucks. Bring her an ice tea with lemon, another 10 bucks.
Phil: Best tips I ever made was when we passed the hat after a performance of my improv group, "Rule of Three." We were known for our sketches, song parodies, and full-frontal nudity.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Zdravstvuyte. [Hello]
Russian man #1: Chego ty khochesh'? [What do you want?]
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: Every day, I take Joe to a park in a Russian neighborhood. We like it there. I have picked up a few phrases that the Russian nannies tell to the Russian kids.
[back:]
Gloria: Igrovoye vremya okoncheno. [Playtime is over.]
Russian man #2: Kto ty? [Who are you?]
Gloria: Vy plokhiye parni. Vremya idti. [You are bad boys. It's time to go.]
Russian man #1: Ty dumayesh' ona na samom dele? [You think she's for real?]
Russian man #2: Yubaya zhenshchina, kotoraya vyglyadit tak i govorit po-russki, dolzhna byt' na svyazi. [Any woman that looks like that and speaks Russian must be connected.]
Gloria: Poproshchaysya so svoim drugom. Eto pereryv. [Say goodbye to your friend. It's naptime.]
Russian man #1: [gasps] Ona dolzhna znat' myasnika. [She must know the butcher.]
Russian man #2: YA uveren, chto my mozhem chto-to reshit'. [I'm sure we can work something out.]
Gloria: [aggressively] Vy khotite kurinyye pal'chiki? [You want chicken fingers?]
Russian man #2: Pozhaluysta, ne moi ruki. [Please, not my hands.]
Quote from Gloria
Jay: Where is she, anyway? Haven't seen her since the morning.
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: I don't know where Stella is. I think it has something to do with the shock collar that I had to put on her because she kept running away. Maybe I tell Jay that I thought it was a necklace. He was the one who wanted to pierce her ears.