Manny: You two need each other. It's what drives you.
Earl: The kid is right. Beating you is half the reason I get out of bed. Locking horns. We made each other better than I ever thought we could be.
Jay: Pushed each other to greatness.
Earl: We touched the sky.
Manny: We're talking about closets here, right?
Jay: Oh, I'm sorry, you mean the sanctuary where a man dons his armor in the morning and takes stock of the battle at night?!
Earl: The one thing we all have in common; presidents to postmen, tycoons to teachers, from sea to shining sea!
Manny: This is taking a weird turn.

Jay: Hey, America! I didn't see you there. Welcome to another live webcast of "Jay Talking." You know what really gets my goat? Goat cheese. It's on everything. I hate it. The only thing worse than goat cheese is eating it at a communal table with some jerk wearing a hat inside. Have some respect. And pull up your pants! Only crack I want to see is in the Liberty Bell. Greatest country on the damn planet.

Cameron: We are doing this tomorrow. She is getting on this bike.
Mitchell: What's the rush? She's 8 years old.
Cameron: Most Vietnamese kids her age are already riding a bike to work.