Phil Quote #1284
Quote from Phil in I Don't Know How She Does It
Haley: Yes, Gavin, I got everything you asked for, and I'm on my way. All these errands I have to do for my boss. I swear, if it wasn't for me, he'd never get anything.
Phil: Haley, please. I'm trying to figure out how your mom's getting all these things done by herself.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: When Haley finally gave me a chance to hear myself think, it hit me. Could Claire be using an assistant? I decided to retrace every errand she allegedly ran today and time it out. She was in meetings from 9:00 A.M. to 1:30, leaving her a 90-minute window to buy Haley's dress, see Stan at Best Buy for Alex's present, then speed home, where she could start baking the cupcakes, drag the churn in from the garage, churn, wrap, and frost, leaving her a scant eight minutes at school pick-up time to race back for her 3:00 staff meeting. Even if all 14 traffic lights on her route were green, this task would be... Impossible! I don't know who made that ice cream, but Daddy was about to churn up a frosty bowl of "Mom's a big fake."
Modern Family Quotes
‘I Don't Know How She Does It’ Quotes
Quote from Jay
Jay: [to Joey] You didn't make enough noise last night? With all his crying, I didn't sleep four hours.
Gloria: I didn't close my eyes. It was like being back in my village, watching for the marauders.
Jay: I don't know what's more shocking - you standing watch, or knowing the word "marauders."
Manny: Please tell me I didn't sob all night just 'cause I lost my baby blanket.
Gloria: Shh! Don't remind him. He's happy now. And besides, you didn't even have a blanket. We were basically destitute.
Jay: What, did you get hit by lightning?
Quote from Phil
Phil: Hey, you know what? I could do some of that kid stuff tomorrow.
Claire: You've got that open house.
Phil: Honey, I've been juggling work and family for 22 years and just juggling for 30.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] Until now, when I'd screw up on the home front, I could always blame work, but with Claire running a company and being a better mom than ever, I could feel the kids downgrading their whole opinion of me. I went from an "A" dad to an "F" dad. Fail Dunphy. Phil Dun-fail. Failip Hum-fail Dun- No, I had it before.