Phil Quote #1243

Quote from Phil in Clean Out Your Junk Drawer

Dr. Debra Radcliffe: I'm sorry. I'm sorry! But I have to go pick up my son because my idiot ex-husband loaned his car to his latest Tinder whore.
Jay: We paid good money for this.
Gloria: No, it was only $84.
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: Excuse me?
Gloria: I would've paid more, but nobody else was bidding.
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: [sobbing] That's great. You know what? I deserve it. This is what you get for dumbing down 30 years of research for a trite analogy of a junk drawer. Just because my editor told me it would get me on the "Ellen" show.
Cameron: You were on "Ellen"?
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: Oh, yeah, yeah. I danced my way into America's heart, and that's why I'm stuck here on a Sunday afternoon for 80 bucks.
Phil: Wait. You can't leave now. All our junk is out!

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 ‘Clean Out Your Junk Drawer’ Quotes

Quote from Phil

Phil: I didn't feel like going to my grandpa's house that Sunday, so I pretended to have a cold. Wouldn't you know it, a few days later...
Claire: Oh, no.
Phil: Yep. I got the cold. I thought it was Karma, so I hopped on my bike and I rode straight to my grandpa's. I climbed in his lap and I hugged him so hard. We even shared an ice cream cone. It's a memory I'll always cherish, 'cause in a crazy coincidence, he got a cold too, and was dead within a week.

Quote from Phil

Dr. Debra Radcliffe: Why don't we start with a fun activity to loosen everyone up?
Jay: I don't care how loose we get, I'm not spilling my guts to some table lamp pretending it's my mother.
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: And I won't ask you to, Jay. That kind of silliness gives therapy a bad name. We are going to play a game called Tiger, Rock Star, Bunny.
Phil: I got this. Uh, marry the tiger, kill the bunny-
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: Mnh-mnh. That's not my game.

Quote from Jay

Jay: What the hell are we doing? Dancing around, telling secrets like girls at a slumber party. I can just imagine my old man with his buddies sitting at their lawn chairs, laughing their asses off that I missed a whole day of football 'cause I'm trying to get in touch with my emotions. These guys didn't do that crap. These were men! His best friend Tommy Ryan lost half a finger in a sheet metal press. Waited until his shift ended to go to the hospital. I broke my collar bone in a football game. There was Dad up in the stands giving me the old "be tough." So I played two more downs before I passed out. My date, Mary-Jo Klumsky, left the senior dance with another guy. Broke my heart. 2 am at the kitchen table and my old man's telling me, "Eat the sandwich and forget about her." Feelings! I didn't even cry at his funeral. You believe that? The guy was my whole world. Not a tear. Everybody looking at me like, like I didn't love him. But he knew. He had to know, right?
Gloria: Of course he did.
Jay: Son of a bitch, that felt good getting that out.