Jay: No one's gonna believe I'm gay.
Cameron: Oh, why, because you're not flouncy enough? Jay, that's offensive. There's all kinds of gays. You've got your Broadway gays, your gym gays, your twinks, your bears, your otters, your "Hey, girl" gays. You've got your pups, your cubs, your chubs. And most prominently, you've got your "Average Joes who you would never know are gay" gays.
Jay: What the hell is an otter?
Cameron: Lane 20. White pants. Look, you don't have to do anything differently. Just be yourself. You're gay enough.

Cameron: Well, you better start feeling it soon. We need to win so I can stick it to that smug Martin Sherman.
Gloria: Who's Martin Sherman?
Cameron: Only my archrival.
Jay: I thought your rival was that blond Christmas caroler.
Gloria: No, it's the Spanish teacher at his school.
Mitchell: Cam has lots of rivals especially if you count that bag boy-
Cameron: I told you never say his name.
Mitchell: I didn't say his name. I don't know his name.
Cameron: It's Todd. Always putting my canned goods on top of my produce. I'd like to squash his squash.

Cameron: We won! We won! This is the fifth-happiest moment of my life!
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Adopting Lily, marrying Mitchell, high school football championship and sitting behind Sarah Jessica Parker at Wicked.