Andy: Hey, Mrs. Dunphy. Remember me?
Claire: Andy. Of course. Come on in. You are Joe's babysitter, right?
Andy: Uh, "manny" is what we call ourselves in the child care community. But it's confusing in that house because of their son Manny. So I've been trying to get traction with "bro-pair."

Gavin Sinclair: Nikki, thank God you're here. Peel this orange for me.
Haley: Mr. Sinclair, it's Haley Dunphy. I was supposed to see you for the assistant job. I have been studying your work, and I have to say the looks that you did for New York Fashion Week put you-
Gavin Sinclair: Ah! I'm really too busy right now.
Haley: But I drove all the way down here. We had an appointment!
Gavin Sinclair: Yeah, I looked at your blog. It's a little too cutesy for me. I need someone with edge.
Haley: I have edge.
Gavin Sinclair: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb. Thanks for coming by, though.

Anne Gibbs: Are you working on this, too?
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No, no. I'm just this one's husband. I'm a High School football coach. Cameron Tucker.
Mitchell: Yes. Oh, God. I'm so embarrassed. Mitchell Pritchett. How are you?
Anne Gibbs: Really? You are an openly gay High School football coach?
Cameron: I know, I know. You hear "football coach," and you expect to meet somebody that screams John Wayne. Meanwhile, the only time I've screamed the duke is when we argue over who's the cutest on "Downton Abbey."