Mitchell: [aside to camera] I do have something of value: a "Spiderman vs. Doctor Octopus" comic book. Issue number 3, 1963, near-mint condition. It's worth 5 grand. I traded a football for it when I was 9 years old, and my dad was mad because the football was signed by Dan Marino. I said, "Get it signed by Rita Moreno, and I'll keep it."

Gloria: I'm so sorry, but I am sure that Jay can help you two out.
Mitchell: No, no, no, no, no. We want to do this on our own.
Jay: Can I ask you a question? Why are you having such a big thing anyway?
Mitchell: Well, because we're only getting married once.
Jay: I'm just saying, why do you need to make into a spectacle?
Mitchell: A s- A spectacle?
Jay: This could be the universe's way of telling you to bring it down a notch. Invite your family, your friend Pepper, and, what's his name, the... the... the flouncy one? Uh, L'David.
Mitchell: I don't have a flouncy friend named L'David, dad.
Cameron: Do- Do you mean L'Michael or J'Marcus? I'm not sure who you're referring to.

Mitchell: Okay, maybe we need to pull back on a few things.
Cameron: Like what?
Mitchell: Uh, the centerpieces?
Cameron: Why even have a wedding?
Mitchell: I don't know, Cam. Because we love and respect each other and we're raising a child together?
Cameron: Maybe we could send un-vitations. Is that a thing?
Mitchell: We've already made a lot of people angry by just being able to get married. Let's not alienate the ones on our side.