Jay Quote #711
Ducky: There we go.
Jay: You've got the touch, kid.
Ducky: I was blessed with my mother's small hands, sir. Shall I order your complimentary, in-room, hot-stone massage?
Jay: Complimentary?
Ducky: All part of the Excelsior Plus experience, sir. Might be nice after a dip in your private lap pool. Oh, where has this been all my life? You know, I saw a harpist in the elevator. Can we get that for our brunch tomorrow?
Ducky: If it was up to me, yes, but unfortunately, that is reserved for our Excelsior Ultra guests only.
[cut to Jay outside The Mandalay Bay:]
Jay: 62, 63, 64. Son of a bitch!
Modern Family Quotes
‘Las Vegas’ Quotes
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: It's just not who we are anymore. Listen to this: "Bananas and Cabanas pool party." Oh, Cam.
Gloria: "Most creative Speedo wins tickets to The Kilty Pleasures."
Mitchell: Oh. Please.
Gloria: What is The Kilty Pleasures?
Cameron: This.
Mitchell: We will be maintaining our dignity in the spa, thank you.
Cameron: I mean, come on, have you ever seen a Scottish person this tan? I'm embarrassed even looking at it.
Claire: Then stop.
Quote from Phil
Higgins: Knockity-knock-knock. Mr. Dunphy, I presume?
Phil: Yes. Who-
Higgins: Hi. I'm Leslie Higgins, it's a boy's name where I'm from. I'm your Butler.
Phil: Oh. Butler. Cool.
Higgins: Yes. As an Excelsior guest, uh, I'm at your beck and call 24/7. Anything you need, big or small, I can- [finds Phil's handcuffs] Oh. Can I just segue, sir, to the importance of discretion in my job? I'll just pop those-
Phil: Oh, no, no, no. Never mind those.
Higgins: As you wish.
Phil: They're for an appointment I have later. The less you know about that, the better.
Higgins: A myriad of apologies, sir.
Quote from Claire
[aside to camera:]
Phil: She was icing me, but I deserved it. For the first time in my whole life, I was neglecting her. I'd been invited to audition for a secret magic society in Las Vegas, but in all my rehearsals, I'd paid no attention to Claire. I even left her alone in a movie theater once.
[separately to camera:]
Claire: I let Phil think I was still mad at him because I needed a little time to myself. Years ago, Phil and I put aside money for a trip on our 25th anniversary, but I lost that money on a girls' weekend in Vegas. Since then, I've been on a secret mission to win that money back, and if things go well this weekend, I am even. Vegas, you have a gambling problem, and her name is Claire.