Claire Quote #385
Quote from Claire in The Late Show
Claire: You let him watch those scary shows with you, and then we leave him home alone at night. Of course he's gonna arm himself.
Phil: He was fine until you gave him your "50 Ways to Die" speech. What was the one about the welcome mat?
Claire: They are highly flammable. For seven to ten people a year, they may as well say, "Welcome to the Morgue."
Modern Family Quotes
‘The Late Show’ Quotes
Quote from Jay
Jay: I don't know if it was the six scotches I drank waiting for everybody, or the fact that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. Or the moment Phil's suit finally gave up. They even played my favorite song.
[flashback to Jay singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight and the Pips]
Jay: A train I'd never make unless I told Gloria it left at 11:00.
Quote from Phil
Claire: New suit?
Phil: This old thing? Yes, it is. I got it at this hipster place downtown. You like it?
Claire: It's tight.
Phil: Well, the salesman said it was the style, and he looked like a Mumford and Son, so I think he'd know.
Claire: Mm, let's go.
Phil: Whoa. Slow down, Flo Jo.
Quote from Haley
Haley: I don't get it. Doesn't the wine get the cow drunk?
Manny: Thank you.
Jay: Honest to God. Have neither of you seen a cow? They're huge.
Haley: I bet Tequila would do it quicker.
Jay: It's not the goal to get the cow drunk.