Haley: Okay, so after a quick scan of his Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Instagram, here is what I know.
Luke: Privacy is dead?

Gil Thorpe: Dunphy, I'm not gonna lie to you. You guys did a nice job on the house. My buyer wants in.
Phil: Fantastic! That is great news! You know, when we first got into this-
Gil Thorpe: Whoa, the small talk's over. Here's what we're prepared to offer.
Phil: You're joking, right?
Gil Thorpe: I don't joke about real estate. I joke about golf and Mexicans. It's okay, though. I'm married to one.

Cameron: Here's to the best construction crew in the business.
Claire: Okay.
Cameron: Hank. Luis. Paco! Wish you could be here right now, buddy.
Alex: What? Did he die?
Cameron: No, he's on the roof, fixing a shingle that he should've gotten right the first time.