Manny: [aside to camera] We're doing a stock market project in school, and today's the last day. We all get a thousand fake dollars to invest, and as the market closed yesterday, I'm in the lead. I may not be the tallest or the most athletic, but someday I will be the richest. Which is good because the ladies love that, and I've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle.

Jay: [aside to camera] When Claire and Mitchell were young, their mom and I were gonna take them to Disneyland. But that morning, Dede and I got in this huge fight over something or other - surprise, surprise - and I ended up taking them on my own. Claire's biggest fear was running into the evil queen. My biggest fear was that I married her.

Mitchell: Okay, everybody's looking at us. I haven't been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods.