Cameron: Do you think it would be offensive if I asked our daughter to walk on my back?
Phil: I'd say so. I just offered to give you a massage.

Haley: What were you thinking saying that in front of him?
Alex: I'm sorry. It slipped out. Besides, I figured he knew. Mom knows.
Haley: Only because she dragged it out of Dylan. And she promised not to tell dad until I left for college, which means he might have never found out.

Phil: Let me buy Lily a new doll. It's my fault Cam fell.
Mitchell: No, no need. Uh, the My Sweet Companion store actually has a hospital with an on-call doctor.
Phil: Well, I can go. I'm taking the girls to the mall anyway.
Mitchell: Oh, that'd be great.
Cameron: Yeah. And don't worry. She has medical insurance.
Mitchell: Yeah, and I think we've met our deductible for the year, so you should be good.
Cameron: Yeah.
Gloria: Do you know what a doll is in my village? An apple on a fork!