Alex Quote #45
Alex: I can't believe it. I got a "B" on my paper.
Phil: Good for you.
Claire: Yeah.
Alex: No, it would be good for you. It's terrible for me. Thanks to your moldy encyclopedias my take on mitosis was completely out-of-date. They don't even call it protoplasm anymore. It's cytoplasm.
Claire: Well, you could have asked one of us.
Alex: Now you're making jokes?
Claire: I'm not making a joke.
Alex: Really? What's the difference between a gamete and a zygote?
Phil: Don't fall for it, Claire. She's just making up words.
Claire: Huh.
Alex: That's it. I need the Internet. I'm out of your stupid contest.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Unplugged’ Quotes
Quote from Gloria
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: We have got to get her into school, or else she's gonna fall behind.
Cameron: Don't you think I know that?
Mitchell: This is perfect. Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.