Pepper: Oh, boys. Boys, I can't stand that I'm coming between you. Not that I'm surprised. I admit I have noticed the stolen glances and the yearning in your eyes.
Mitchell: Okay. Well, you'll... You'll forgive us, Pepper, if we sit out your next few brunches?
Pepper: Absolutely. I would hate to lose you two. I've always thought of you as being like my-
Cameron: Sons?
Mitchell: Sons?
Pepper: Sons?! I was gonna say brothers. [scoffs; crying] It's like a house of pain.

Manny: Just one week. Can I go golfing with you?
Jay: I'm probably gonna have a Latino kid carry my clubs anyway. Might as well be you.

Cameron: Oh, we're gonna die! We're gonna die!
Mitchell: We better not. If they find us in these outfits, it's gonna be very bad for the gays.