Jay Quote #177

Quote from Jay in The Kiss

Jay: What's wrong with "thanks"?
Claire: It's pretty much the bare minimum, Dad.
Manny: Jay, for God sakes, just say something.
Jay: You want me to say something? How about "you're welcome"? How about "I'm so happy to be here for you all so I can take the blame for all your crap"? I can't do this. I never did that. Trust me. I gave you twice as much as my father ever gave me. The man kissed me one time in my entire life. Came up behind me, kissed me in the back of the head, said, "Good night, Becky." He thought I was my sister.

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 ‘The Kiss’ Quotes

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: [aside to camera] Mitchell has a problem with public displays of affection. I remember once at a New Year's Eve Party, stroke of midnight he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high-five. Two, gays don't high-five.

Quote from Gloria

Jay: Honey, I'm sorry. I'm just teasing you.
Gloria: Instead of being the comedian, why don't you help me?
Jay: What do you need?
Gloria: Slap the chicken.
Jay: Do what?
Gloria: In Colombia, when you cook in honor of the departed you have to scare death away from the food to protect the people that are gonna eat it. Slap it and yell.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: [aside to camera:] I made all that up. That's not a real custom in Colombia. We're not lunatics. But you mess with us and we mess with you. That's the custom.