Jay Quote #100
Quote from Jay in My Funky Valentine
David Brenner: And you don't have to worry about him cheating. That's for sure. Because if he does, you'll catch him when he comes home with two sets of teeth in his mouth.
Jay: Yeah.
David Brenner: So tell me, on the wedding night, what- What did he do? Did he say he wanted to change into something comfortable and go into a coma?
Jay: Listen, I gotta use the men's room. Nuh-uh. I gotta use the men's room. I'll be right back.
David Brenner: Where you going? Wait a minute. I'm only joking. That's what I do. You know, you're way younger than I am. You just don't look it.
Modern Family Quotes
‘My Funky Valentine’ Quotes
Quote from Dylan
Claire: Hi, Dylan.
Dylan: Happy Valentine's Day, Mrs. Dunphy. [hands Claire a rose]
Claire: Oh. Dylan, thank you. That is so sweet.
Dylan: You know, all women should look as tasty as you when they're old.
Claire: Huh. Conflicted.
Quote from Jay
Jay: [aside to camera] Gloria and I are from different generations. And I won't lie- It isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon and Garfunkel were my lawyers.
Gloria: No I didn't.
Jay: It was a joke.
Gloria: I don't get it.
Jay: Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
Gloria: Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Mind if I join you? I'm Clive. Clive Bixby.
Claire: Yes, I can see that. I'm Juliana. So, Clive, you in town for a convention, or do you just forget your name a lot?
Phil: Pretty kitty has nails. I like that. I'm in town for a trade show. I design high-end electroacoustic transducers. [takes out cigarette]
Claire: Wow, that is very specific.
Phil: It's a fancy way of saying I get things to make noise.
Claire: Hmm.
Phil: So, what's your story? Miss America Pageant in town?
Claire: You're a pretty smooth talker, Clive.
Phil: I'm pretty smooth all over. [lights up]
Waitress: Sir, there's no smoking in here.
Phil: Oh, that's fine. I'm not actually a smoker.
Claire: You're quite the Boy Scout, Clive.