Jay: Is that the best you can do? 'Cause it's gonna take a little more than some lame trash talk to get me out of my- Gaah! What the hell was that?
Cameron: Our butts pressed against each other.
Jay: They didn't press. It was glancing. Stop talking about it!
Cameron: Oh, come on, all the time you've spent in a locker room, this can't be your first moon landing.
Jay: You got a name for it?
Cameron: It's very common. You got off easy. At least it didn't happen after a shower.
Jay: Enough.
Cameron: We call that a splashdown.
Jay: That's it. I'm changing in the stall. Excuse me!

Mitchell: [aside to camera] Gloria got into a little car accident, so my dad asked me to help her out. And, uh, this is the first time that my dad's asked me for legal advice, and it's- it's nice. It's nice to know that he respects me in that way.
Cameron: Well, Mitchell is an amazing lawyer.
Mitchell: Oh.
Cameron: My dream for him is that one day he'll be on the Supreme Court.
Mitchell: Why, Cam?
Cameron: So at parties I can tell everyone my partner is one of the Supremes.

Phil: [aside to camera] Do people want their real estate advice from someone who leads or from someone who follows? I'm betting these babies are coming back in a big way. Buy low, sell high. People are gonna see this and say, "That guy's high."