Claire Quote #3
Claire: What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this!
Phil: Buddy, uncool.
Claire: That's it? No, no, no, no, no. The agreement was that if he shoots someone you shoot him.
Phil: We were serious about that?
Claire: Yes, we were and now you have to follow through.
Luke: I'm so sorry!
Claire: Liar. Go!
Phil: He's got a birthday party.
Alex: What's more important here, dad?
Claire: You can shoot him afterwards, he'll be home at two.
Phil: I can't shoot him at two, showing our house at two.
Alex: What about three?
Claire: No, he's at a soccer game at three, and then- Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five.
Phil: Yeah, I guess that works for me.
Claire: [writing] Shoot Luke.
Phil: Sorry dude, it's on the calendar.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Pilot’ Quotes
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. I'm hip. I surf the web, I text. LOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face. You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so...
Quote from Claire
Claire: [aside to camera] I was out of control growing up. There, you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right. I've done our job.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: [aside to camera] Manny is very passionate, just like his father. My first husband is very handsome, but too crazy. It seemed like all what we did was fight and make love. Fight and make love. Fight and make love. One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out of the window together.
Jay: Which one were you doing? I'm hearing this for the first time!