Mitchell: And why are the movers just sitting out there?
Gloria: Don't worry about them. I'll handle them. I used to be a mover. I kind of fell into it when I helped an ex-boyfriend steal his brother's refrigerator.
Mitchell: Okay, wait, so you've been a cab driver, a hairdresser, a spokesmodel, and a mover. I-Is your life real?
Gloria: Is anything real? That was a question that I asked myself when I was a philosophy professor.

Haley: Hey! You find it?
Dylan: No, but I just realized why they call rolling two ones with dice "snake eggs."
Haley: That's snake eyes.
Dylan: Oh. Then what did I realize?

Gloria: Now, say goodbye to the house. Tell it how much it meant to you. Be honest with each other, like two lovers that know that the time has come when they must part ways.
Mitchell: Okay, well, usually, I would just take my gym membership off his keychain and then introduce him to my mother.