Claire: I can't believe this. I'm going to miss my interview. And this was my dream job! I was gonna get to organize the whole world. [voice breaking] And now everything is gonna stay so messy.
Phil: Can't you just reschedule it?
Claire: No! Phil, I'd look like a flake! This is an organizational company, not the loosey-goosey world of real estate, where everything's "See you noon to three, and I'll bring the cookies"! Sorry. I'm lashing out.
Phil: No, it's okay. The lion doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

Claire: How ridiculous would I look taking a call on stairs? Plus, I need my shelves, 'cause I had this whole thing worked out with the products and...
Jay: You don't need gimmicks! You were the C.E.O. for Pritchett's freakin' Closets. You know how many people can say that? Me and you! And Margaret every five years, when I went under for my colonoscopy.

Mitchell: I keep making lists of all the pros and cons in my head. Uh, the... the way a baby smells is on both.
Cameron: Okay, alright. Pros, go.
Mitchell: Okay, well, a baby to love. The sound of giggling. [Cameron chuckles] You know, a bigger family, an extra vote on whether to pull the plug on us when we get old. I'm worried that Lily has an itchy trigger finger.
Cameron: Yeah, and another child would help us figure out how much of Lily's personality is our fault and what's on her.
Mitchell: It would be nice to be vindicated.