Jay Quote #1511
Jay: Who's the beefcake?
Alex: Oh... [sighs] I need to hire an assistant, and this gentleman is currently the frontrunner.
Jay: Does he get a normal paycheck, or are you just gonna stuff ones down his G-string?
Alex: I do have some trepidation about the optics.
Jay: Well, you should. These are sensitive times. Perception is everything.
[aside to camera:]
Jay: I didn't care about any of that crap. I don't have enough work for my assistant, Margaret. Been with me 40 years. I can't just put her out to pasture like some worn-out plow horse. The old broad deserves a little respect.
Quote from Javier
Manny: Hey, Dad!
Javier: There's my boy! [laughs] Whee! Someone has been wearing my custom-made cologne... Javier! For the man who wants to smell a little bit like a woman.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] Today, our old neighbor-turned-tech-titan, Kenneth, is coming to visit. And he says he has a "big surprise" for me. I don't know if the super rich have access to time travel, but if they do, I'm going back to the '90s.
Claire: Ooh, to buy a whole bunch of Amazon stock?
Phil: No! I'm going to tell Felicity not to cut her hair.
Quote from Kids These Days
Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!