Phil Quote #1807
Quote from Phil in Tree's A Crowd
Phil: [on the phone] Honestly, Jerry, it's that, uh... Claire and I have... have hit a rough patch. She's been huffing... cans of whipped cream. I mean... [whispers] Help me. [normal voice] Underneath our bed looks like backstage at a pie-eating contest.
Claire: Invite him here.
Phil: [whispers] What?
Claire: Just get him here as fast as you can. Come on.
Phil: Uh, actually, Jerry, everything's fine. Claire just agreed to seek help. See you tomorrow.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Tree's A Crowd’ Quotes
Quote from Cameron
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Eh, there comes a point in every gay man's life when a lesbian couple asks him for his sperm.
Cameron: Unless you're Mitchell and me.
Mitchell: Yeah.
Cameron: All of our friends have been asked, while we have been cruelly overlooked.
Mitchell: It's painful. It's like not getting picked to play kickball.
Cameron: Well, that never happened to me. I was my kickball team's captain. Well, only after our star broke his leg and had to be put down. He was a...
Mitchell: A mule. From a mile away.
Quote from Jay
Jay: It wasn't gonna work out with Sherry anyway. She's Canadian. They have ducks on their money. They sell milk in a bag.
Quote from Phil
Claire: Honey, what are you doing?
Phil: I just saw this incredible telekinesis video. I'm trying to make a piece of bacon levitate.
Claire: Don't you have to, I don't know, work?
Phil: Are you saying it'll never happen? Is there perhaps a more colorful way of saying that?
Claire: I know you're trying to get me to say "It'll happen when pigs fly."
Phil: That counts. [gasps; lifts bacon] What? Oh, my gosh!