Claire Quote #822

Quote from Claire in The Last Halloween

Claire: Aw, that is cute. You tried to scare me for Halloween.
Phil: How in the world did that not frighten you? Some of this is my actual blood. I nicked myself putting it on!
Claire: Sweetie, you don't know the first thing about scaring people. It's all about plausibility. And you were awfully casual for a guy who just got an ax in the chest. You know, if you really wanted to scare me, you should've waited until I opened the closet and found you hanging by a necktie.
Phil: Excuse me! I killed myself?!
Claire: Yeah. Totally plausible. I mean, you've been so happy all these years, the other shoe is bound to drop, right? By the way, I am not married to the whole necktie thing. It could be, um... shotgun or poison or a power drill to the eye...
Phil: Stop. Stop! Now you're scaring me.
Claire: That's how you do it. Bam!

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Features in the collection: Halloween Quotes.

‘Halloween Quotes’

Quote from Phil in The Last Halloween

Phil: [aside to camera] It was simplicity itself. A year ago, Claire accused me for the millionth time that I couldn't scare her, so I came up with a plan. I'd just sold a house to a European couple that weren't gonna take possession for a while, so, uh, last fall, "Ida Mae" moved in. Fortunately, the house was right on Claire's jogging route, so it was easy to introduce Claire to Ida Mae, and when I wanted to amp it up, I had Ida Mae make contact. Then, this morning... I knew that ax wouldn't scare Claire. I just did that so she'd accuse me of not being able to scare her.
[flashback:]
Claire: It's all about plausability.
[back:]
Phil: Damn right, it is. Over the past year, Ida Mae joined the neighborhood association, hung up a poster for her lost dog, signed up for Meals on Wheels. They're not bad, by the way. Also, she got a lot of knitting done.

Quote from Cameron in It's the Great Pumpkin, Phil Dunphy

Cameron: I'm trying to get Wi-Fi so I can watch the pumpkin weigh-in at the Halloween festival back home. You know, 25 years ago, I raised the largest Wichita Thumper, and the record still stands. I am so sorry. There's no way to say that that doesn't sound braggy.
Gloria: No, no, you just did fine.
Cameron: You know, as with every pumpkin, there's a story. It was a cold, bitter night, when tap-tap-tap on the window. Darn if it wasn't the vine of my pumpkin, just out there trembling away.
Gloria: That is a great story.
Cameron: Next thing I know, Daddy's pulling the pumpkin through the window, careful, of course, not to break the vine. And for months, it just became a part of our household. People stepping over it to get into the kitchen, blocked half the TV. We thought "The Brady Bunch" was just about three lovely girls. [chuckles] Oh, but nobody complained. Sure, I won Grand Champion, you know, and the right to name the next tornado. But the thing I remember most are the sacrifices [voice breaking] my family made for just me. That's how we do family where I'm from.
Gloria: [inhales sharply] That's how we do family where I am from!

 ‘The Last Halloween’ Quotes

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] It was simplicity itself. A year ago, Claire accused me for the millionth time that I couldn't scare her, so I came up with a plan. I'd just sold a house to a European couple that weren't gonna take possession for a while, so, uh, last fall, "Ida Mae" moved in. Fortunately, the house was right on Claire's jogging route, so it was easy to introduce Claire to Ida Mae, and when I wanted to amp it up, I had Ida Mae make contact. Then, this morning... I knew that ax wouldn't scare Claire. I just did that so she'd accuse me of not being able to scare her.
[flashback:]
Claire: It's all about plausability.
[back:]
Phil: Damn right, it is. Over the past year, Ida Mae joined the neighborhood association, hung up a poster for her lost dog, signed up for Meals on Wheels. They're not bad, by the way. Also, she got a lot of knitting done.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Is it cold in here, or is it just me because I am the frozen lady from "Frozen"?

Quote from Mitchell

Cameron: Wow. This place has changed. It used to be so much... gayer.
Mitchell: Straight people always take our best stuff. First, they came for our brunches, and I said nothing.