Gloria Quote #829
Gloria: [aside to camera] My internship with Phil is almost over. He said that he would hire me full time if I did good. So, I need to find who's stealing his signs to prove my worth. Luckily, I have a plan. A couple of weeks ago, Jay put a tracker thingy on Stella because she kept getting out.
Jay: She was down the block, mooning over that Chihuahua again. I mean, what does she see in him? He thinks he's so cool with that dumb handkerchief around his neck.
Gloria: I'm going to steal Stella's tracker, and I'm gonna hide it on the sign to catch the crook. And then maybe Stella will get some alone time with her Chihuahua. With that pushed-in face, she could do a lot worse than a Latin lover.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Oh, it's so hot. I can't wait to jump in that pool.
Lily: I never said I'd get in the pool.
Cameron: Okay, Lily, stop. You are an exotic Vietnamese beauty. Scarlett Johansson would play you in a movie until Twitter told her she couldn't.
Quote from Gloria
Lindsay: You're kidding. Another one?
Phil: I'm afraid so, Lindsay.
Sam: Who keeps taking our signs?
Gloria: Don't worry, Sam, we're going to find out. Miss, do you have any enemies? Are you in a blood feud?
Gloria: Have you recently joined a political opposition?
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.
Quote from Unplugged
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!