Haley Quote #440
Haley: Are we done here?
Professor Arvin Fennerman: Surprisingly, not. This might sound crazy, but I'm going to marry you.
Haley: I'm sorry, first time talking to a real girl?
Professor Arvin Fennerman: No, l-l-listen. I-I-I don't get it. Uh, frankly, it boggles the mind, but I've been running dozens of probability scenarios in my head since we met, and and they all end with us [inhales] together.
Haley: I have heard some lame pickup lines in my day, but-
Professor Arvin Fennerman: Oh, I have plenty of those. Um, are you a neuro-electrical current because you've been running through my mind all day? But th-th-that's not what this is. This is going to happen, Haley Dunphy.
Haley: Ew, how do you know my name?
Professor Arvin Fennerman: I know everything. Also, your pass has your name written on it.
Alex: I think I'm gonna pass out.
Quote from Phil
Phil: I've been putting on a brave face to squash the darkness inside of me, but what if the worst has happened? How will I tell Claire? I won't. I'll have to smother her with a pillow to spare her the pain, but then Jay will have lost a daughter. I'll have to smother him, too. That's two pillows from the same set. It's a pattern. The police are after me!
Quote from Jay
Jay: [aside to camera] Earl Chambers, my former business partner-turned dumbass nemesis, bought the old horizontal wardrobe. For you closet non-pros, that means he died. Then last week, I received this urn and this note. "You know what to do with my ashes. Follow the path." What the hell does that mean?
Quote from Written In The Stars
Haley: Are you into him or something?
Alex: No! I'm just genuinely concerned you're going to embarrass yourself or me. At least look up the difference between astrology and astronomy.
Haley: Okay, alls I know is, is that you're being a real Capricorn right now. The sun revolves around the Earth, and not you.
Quote from A Fair to Remember
Andy: Found another one. I told you.
Haley: Are you gonna do that every time? You found glass, not the lost city of Atlanta.
Andy: Wow, I'm gonna chalk that one up to a lot of underage drinking.