Jay Quote #510
Quote from Jay in Diamond in the Rough
Gloria: [singing] Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Papa's going to buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won't sing, papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Papa'd buy ten diamond rings to get that mockingbird to shut the hell up. But I wasn't gonna tell Gloria she was a terrible singer. That's just taking a bath with a toaster. Still, the thought of that poor little thing stuck in there like a hostage, listening to that racket days on end, I just couldn't take it.
[back:]
Gloria: And if that billy goat won't push, papa's gonna get every le-
Jay: I'll tell you what papa's gonna do. He's gonna take a turn on that mic.
Gloria: Oh! Really?
Jay: Yeah, I've been thinking, if it's a chance to bond, I should take it.
Gloria: Ay, Jay, that's great. I think that the sound of my voice shouldn't be the only thing that the baby should hear.
Jay: Same page.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Diamond in the Rough’ Quotes
Quote from Cameron
Claire: So what do you think? Can we turn this into a baseball field?
Cameron: Oh, yeah. No problem. You know, back on the farm, I once turned an acre of corn into a snowflake-shaped maze. It'd still be there if our neighbor Billy Bob Sheinberg hadn't seen it from his crop duster and said it looked like a swastika.
Quote from Luke
Cameron: So how good's Luke's team anyway?
Claire: Well, you may have seen them on Youtube under "Boy stuck in batting helmet" or "Pitcher beans self." But a few of them went through puberty early this year, so...
Luke: They say it's because of hormones in our milk. But whatever it is, they really jacked up.
Quote from Jay
Gloria: Come on, Jay. Say something to the baby.
Jay: Darlene's an idiot.
Gloria: Oh, yeah, beautiful. Your first words to our baby, "Darlene is an idiot."
Jay: This is stupid. The baby's only 2 inches away. He doesn't need speakers blasting at him. Like in restaurants nowadays where you can't even hear yourself think. Ah, you're gonna do whatever you want. Why do I bother?
Manny: Get used to that. Sometimes you just gotta let him go. Then he eats some sherbet and falls asleep.