Haley: Oh, don't talk back, Dad. She'll just ground you!
Claire: [throwing her shoe at the bathroom door] That's 32 weeks, young lady! I was at 16 before, right? What?
Plumber: Nothin'.
Claire: Don't judge me until you've had a teenage girl.
Plumber: I've had four of 'em.
Claire: God. How did you survive that?
Plumber: Girls were a piece of cake. It was the boy. Every look on his face. Every stupid decision he made. The way he sat there chewing his food like an idiot. Then it hit me why this kid drove me so crazy, he's me.
Claire: Well, all the more reason she should listen to me. I can stop her from making the same mistakes.
Plumber: Did you listen to your mother?
Claire: No. God, no. But, you know, I had a reason. That woman was a psycho control... freak.