Jay Quote #160
Quote from Jay in Family Portrait
Jay: So in '66, I worked in my grandfather's office supply business- your ink, your staples, your legal pads. Am I going too fast for you?
Luke: I fell asleep for a second. Did you do anything interesting in the '60s?
Jay: Well, one summer, I swept up hair at my other grandfather's barbershop.
Luke: You're killing me.
Jay: What do you want?
Luke: I don't know. Brian Beckwith's grandfather marched on Washington.
Jay: Artie Beckwith? He couldn't walk two feet without complaining. He marched on Washington?
Luke: He told Brian he did. With Martin Luther King Jr.
Jay: Martin Luther King? Guess who cut his hair.
Luke: What?
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Do you know who cut Martin Luther King Jr.'s hair? Neither does Luke's teacher.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Family Portrait’ Quotes
Quote from Jay
Jay: Ah, this is ridiculous. You're both uptight about everything. You didn't want to go to a wedding with him because you didn't want to make small talk? That's how I met Gloria. Do you remember the first thing I said to you?
Gloria: Yes. "I like chocolate, I like fruit, but not together."
Jay: You couldn't come up with that, lvy League? And you. You would be a lot happier if you weren't so obsessed with everything being perfect. Look at us here all in white. What are we, a cricket team? News flash. Life is not perfect, Claire. Now calm the hell down.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Kobe! Kobe, over here!
Kobe Bryant: What can I do for you?
Phil: Do you like being a basketball player?
Kobe Bryant: Serious?
Phil: I choked. I didn't think you'd look up here at me.
Kobe Bryant: Little preparation next time. It's a mental game.
Phil: Duly noted.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: [answering phone] Hello?
Mitchell: There is a pigeon in our house. What do I do? What do I do?
Cameron: Who is this?
Mitchell: Never funny. Not funny now.
Cameron: Calm down. You know I grew up around many animals. One time, a rooster attacked me, and my mom wrung its neck, and we had it for dinner.
Mitchell: Great time for an anecdote. Help me.
Cameron: It's more afraid of you than you are of it.
Mitchell: Pigeons aren't scared of anything. They stand on electrical wires.