Jay Quote #28

Quote from Jay in The Incident

Mitchell: So you'll talk to Gloria about mom coming to dinner?
Jay: Oh, Gloria would never go for that in a million years. She's still furious with your mother, which is why I'm not talking to you.
Mitchell: What did I do?
Jay: This conversation never took place.
Mitchell: Well, that's not very nice. I drove all the way here.
Jay: No, you didn't. You were never here. In fact, you never even called.
Mitchell: I would have called, but I thought it would be better to talk about th- What? What's happening here?
Jay: Listen I would love to get this thing behind us, but Gloria would never forgive me If I pulled a fast one on her. That's why you're going to pull a fast one on her, and I'm not going to like it one bit.
Mitchell: Okay, that's just great. No, that's great. So it's all up to me.
Jay: I can't hear you because you're back home and I'm taking a nap.

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 ‘The Incident’ Quotes

Quote from Dylan

Claire: Everybody, Haley says that Dylan is a musician, and he writes some great songs.
Phil: Play something, bro.
Dylan: Well, I guess so, if you want me to. We could all use a nice tune right now. This is actually a song I wrote for Haley. It's called "In the Moonlight."
Cameron: Lovely title, Dylan.
Dylan: Thanks. [playing guitar and singing] The stars are falling from the sky And you're the reason why The moon is shining on your face 'Cause it finally feels It's found its place 'Cause, baby, baby, I just want to do you do you Do you want to do me do me Underneath the moonlight the moonlight? Baby, baby, Maybe I will steal you steal you Just so I can feel you feel you Maybe that would heal you heal you on the inside.
Claire: She's so not going.
Phil: Not a chance in hell.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Boy, things with your mom got pretty intense down there, huh? All like East Coast/West Coast. You feelin' me?
[aside to camera:]
Phil: Act like a parent, talk like a peer. I call it "peerenting." I learned it from my own Dad who used to walk into my room and say, "what's up, sweathog?"

Quote from Dede

Mitchell: Mom. Mom, what are you doing to her legs?
Dede: Tai chi. I did it every day in Sedona. Cameron, you should try it. [Cameron puts down scone]
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Mitchell's mother has a problem... with me. Last Christmas, for example, she gave me a piece of exercise equipment and a lettuce dryer. So, to recap, I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings, and she gave me a hint.