Mitchell: So these homeless people are making a dollar an hour-
Anne Gibbs: Are there a lot of openly gay coaches?
Cameron: Oh, if the adult film industry's to be believed, they all are.

Anne Gibbs: Has anyone ever approached you for a news segment?
Cameron: On me?! Oh, my gosh. No. I don't I don't think I'm interesting enough to do a news segment on. I mean, what would a reporter even say about me? That I'm a High School football coach with an undefeated record who's tackling stereotypes? That on my team, prejudice is considered out of bounds? That we're blitzing bigotry, kicking intolerance, and beating-
Mitchell: Metaphors to death?

Gloria: That's your Spanish tutor.
Manny: I'm gonna say it one more time. I really think French will be a better fit for me.
Gloria: Your name is Manuel Alberto Javier Alejandro Delgado. How is French a better fit for you?
Manny: Okay, I'm pretty sure you threw in a name I've never heard before.

Manny: Hello.
Diego: Ah, ah! En español, por favor.
Manny: Okay, let's take it down a nacho.

Gloria: ¡Hola, Diego!
Diego: You must be Mr. Pritchett.
Jay: Jay. And I'm just glad you're here. Gloria tried to tutor Manny. There was less yelling in "The Miracle Worker."

Phil: Hey, Andy.
Andy: Hey, sir. Uh, Mr. Dunphy. Sorry. I didn't see you.
Phil: Andy, please. "Sir Mr. Dunphy" is my British name.
Andy: Oh, my you did not just think of that! [laughing]
Phil: Yes!

Claire: Haley is at a very low point in her life. It's the last thing she needs right now.
Phil: Sometimes a boy might be a good distraction? I remember a certain young lady was pretty addicted to "Ms. Pac-Man" until a dashing young gent caught her eye.
Claire: Only because you were wearing a feather earring.
Phil: It wasn't a feather. It was a dream catcher. And it worked.

Cameron: Which proves, Anne, you can score with a gay coach. Wait. Uh, can I try that again?
Anne Gibbs: No, that was great. Um, how does your spouse feel about you coaching?
Cameron: Oh, this one? He's my rock. He's- He's my Connie Britton.
Mitchell: Your- Your Connie Britton?
Cameron: Mrs. Coach on "Friday Night Lights."

Mitchell: Do you have any idea how insulting you've been to me all morning?
Cameron: What, because I just compared you to Connie Britton? Mitchell, she was an equal to Coach Taylor. You'd know that if you saw the show.

Gloria: Did you sign something so that Manny could switch to French?
Jay: I did.
Gloria: You knew that I wanted him to learn Spanish.
Jay: I also know you can't force a kid to be interested in something that he's not. That's why I have a picture of Mitchell and his prom date shaking hands.