‘Promposal’
Season 7, Episode 20 - Aired May 4, 2016
Ahead of Closet-Con, Claire is convinced there's a mole in the company. Meanwhile, Phil teams up with Gloria to confront Aunt Alice for stealing her hot sauce recipe. Jay tries to teach Joe some "manly" tasks to avoid another Manny. Meanwhile, Cameron goes overboard when he helps Manny with a "promposal", while Mitchell takes a pared-back approach with Luke.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Grayson! Hey.
Grayson: Hey, Coach.
Cameron: Hey. Don't suppose you're planning on asking anyone to prom.
Grayson: Um, I don't think we're allowed to go with teachers.
Cameron: That's not what...
Quote from Gloria
Auntie Alice: Fine. I'm Auntie Alice.
Phil: Auntie Thief and Auntie Liar.
Auntie Alice: Yeah, yeah. I'm sure we can work something out. Who's your patent lawyer?
Gloria: I don't have one.
Auntie Alice: I know. I patented your sauce this morning. Have a good trip home, kids.
Gloria: I am so sorry, Phil, that I wasted your whole day, but I am more sorry of what I'm gonna do to your car!
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Oh, um Mitchell, we have a problem.
Mitchell: No, we don't. I mean, unless you're busy that night.
Cameron: Are- Are you asking me to prom?
Mitchell: Well, you know, they need chaperones.
Cameron: Mitchell, this is the sweetest thing you've ever done for me. I-I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I never got to go to my own prom.
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: It's come up.
Quote from Jay
Claire: Joe did that to you?
Jay: Yeah. Slammed a car hood on it.
Claire: Why?
Jay: I owed him money. It slipped while I was teaching him to check oil.
Claire: Well, that's pretty advanced for a 3-year-old.
Jay: What can I say? I believe in my kids.
Quote from Claire
Claire: Let's quickly go over the plan. My dad's gonna be here any minute. We're doing this in stages. One finger means you text him "We're closing the blinds division."
Ben: Our biggest earner? He's gonna lose it if I tell him we're shuttering blinds.
Claire: Two fingers, we're partnering with Rod Bushmill.
Ben: That sleazebag represents everything your father spent an entire career fighting against.
Claire: Three fingers, we're not going to ClosetCon.
Ben: Wha-- Are you trying to teach your father a lesson or crush his soul?
Claire: Just business, kid.
Ben: Monster.
Quote from Claire
Claire: What am I doing? Jibber-jabbering about work. So, that little grease monkey Joe is 3. Hard to believe.
They grow up so fast. Got to be nice, though, Dad, knowing that your company is in good hands and you can stay home all day long and just play with your kid.
Jay: Have you lost your mind?
Claire: Well, not all day, obviously. 3-year-olds are nothing but bipolar germ buckets.
Quote from Jay
Jay: I mean, look at us. Why can't we both admit that we could use each other's help right now? Are we too proud to even do that?
Claire: I'll admit it if you will.
Jay: Fine. On 3. 1 2 3.
Claire: Will you crack my lobster?
Jay: I want to come back to work.
Claire: What?!
Jay: Damn it!
Quote from Jay
Claire: Well, Dad, what do you think about coming back to work, I don't know, one or two days a week?
Jay: What I was thinking was, I'd have a staff of five. My own building.
Claire: What?
Jay: And I report to no one. [chuckles] I'm kidding. I'll put a desk in the copy room. And, by the way, I've known you for a long time. The last thing you need to worry about is looking weak.
Quote from Claire
Claire: [aside to camera] Apparently, someone tried to access my e-mail before I got in. Someone hell-bent on leaking company secrets. It is four days until C-Con, and Pritchett's Closets has a mole. No one is above suspicion.