‘Phil's Sexy, Sexy House’
Season 7, Episode 7 - Aired November 18, 2015
When the family gathers at Jay and Gloria's for a Thanksgiving leftover brunch, everyone gets the same idea to sneak into the "sexy house" that Phil is trying to sell.
Quote from Claire
Claire: [British accent] Please, sir, have pity. 'Tis true I'm just a common thief, but if you have mercy, I'll make it worth your while...
Quote from Phil
Phil: You should all be ashamed of yourselves. I'm the only one authorized to be here. By sneaking in, you've disrespected me, and violated the trust between me, my clients, and this sexy, sexy house. No. No! Great. Now Lisa's dead. I want everybody out of here right now!
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Well, at least we have our house to ourselves still.
Mitchell: Mm.
Cameron: Does Magic Mitch have another set him in?
Mitchell: Yeah. His grandma's built-up shoe isn't gonna pay for itself.
Cameron: Okay, we need to work on your sexy patter.
Quote from Luke
Alex: Okay, before you get any stupid ideas, Reuben and I broke in here so I could help him with his math.
Luke: Heh. Good luck getting through to that guy. He's clueless.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Honey, I know you've been working really hard lately, and I-I appreciate any time I can get with you.
Claire: So you're not mad at me?
Phil: Silence, Elvin Harlot.
Claire: Ohh, sorry, my lord. Didn't mean to offend.
Phil: But you have, craven wench. And I shall mete out punishment as- [to headset] I can hear you guys giggling. At least I have a girlfriend!
Quote from Jay
Jay: Hola! Hola! Yeah. Come in, come in.
Manny: Does this feel like a short visit to you or a long one?
Jay: The pregnant one brought a stroller.